A few more thoughts for tonight...We've had a week of rapidly changing weather, and as Patrick and I are driving back and forth to Hershey each day, it will often alternate between downpours and sunshine, and occasionally it will do both things at the same time. It's been prime rainbow weather every day.
Only I haven't seen one.
I'd find myself making little deals in my head with God in the car. "Okay," I'd think. "If I see a rainbow, that means Brigid's going to be fine." And then I'd crane my neck all over looking for one, all the while reasoning with myself that even if I don't see a rainbow, she could still be fine and realizing that I could see one and she could die tomorrow. I'm testing God, I'd think, and then I'd feel ashamed of my silliness. He doesn't owe me a sign. He's told me enough about himself for me to have faith in this situation, whether or not I see a rainbow.
It's not faith that Brigid will be okay that I'm called to have. If that were the case, and she died, my faith would be shattered.
Rather, it's faith in God's goodness. It's faith in the fact that His ways are not our ways. That all things work together for the good of those who love Him. It's faith that God is sovereign and knows us and loves us and sees our situation. Faith that we're still in the palm of His hand. It's faith that if it's His will for her to heal and grow, she will. And if it's not, we'll still be okay. It's faith that He knows more than we do. Faith that He is trustworthy and that He loves our baby girl even more than we do.
This is the faith that we are called to have. This is the faith that I have to exercise each day, as surely as an athlete exercises his heart and muscles for an endurance trial. God is so good to give us our daily bread - the strength to get through each day, even when we don't know what is at the end of the road.
I'll still crane my neck to look for the rainbows.
But not because they have anything to do with Brigid.
Image: http://climate.met.psu.edu/www_prod/data/frost/frosttraining.php#Optics
