Spam, eggs, sausage and spam

I just got a message in my spam box that said, "You are a moron. Click here for proof."

Please tell me, is anyone really going to click on that? Seriously. And who do these people think they are? It's bad enough that they come up with every possible way to describe how to enlarge male body parts, sell me Rolex watches, or get discount medication. Now they have the nerve to call me names?

I hate spam.

But I do like Monty Python's Spam skit.

Do you need a reminder? Click here.

Last night, we had our neighbors and their two boys over for a barbeque. It's so fun to make friends together. I mean, Patrick has his friends, and I have mine from before we met, but it's nice to meet people together, you know?

It's a gloomy day here today and Jack and I are baking cookies and watching "Meemo" (Nemo).

Rainy days and Mondays can be nice, sometimes.

Odd jobs

I started working when I was about 15 as a cashier at the local grocery store, and since I worked my way through college, often with two or three things going at a time, I've had a lot of jobs over the years.

Some of the stranger ones include: wading into wetlands for the EPA to determine their water quality by collecting the insects there, counting toothpick-sized transistors by the thousands while attached at the wrist to the metal shelving they were stored on lest they be destroyed by a static electric shock, and one four-hour shift at Chi-Chi's Mexican restaurant where I wore an outfit that looked quite a bit like this:

except for the headpiece and the tambourine, and substitute a solid, but just as vibrant, color for the stripes. I kid you not.

What's the strangest job you've ever had?

The number of jobs I've had makes for good work experience, but is not necessarily a good thing. I'm the kind of person who works at a job for a few months, starts getting frustrated by the monotony of it all, stays for a year - because, who quits a job after only a few months? -and then jumps ship. Until I started teaching, that is. Teaching was my niche. I never dreaded going to work, I felt totally fulfilled, and I loved that I got to meet a new group of students every year. This kept things interesting. It was never the same day twice.

With all this work experience, though, you'd think I'd be able to do something as simple as managing my own household, but I'm surprised to find that I'm having such a hard time doing it. I mean, I just made a list of things that need to be done each week and filled them in on a chart with blocks for each day. What is this, kindergarten? Why do I need to do that to get everything done? Laundry, groceries, bathrooms, vacuuming...I'm assigning these tasks to various days in hopes that I might find the time to get them done while the boys are napping or after they've gone to bed, because how can you clean out the fridge with a 19-month-old boy around? It's like my own little chore chart, but I don't get any stickers.

Maybe I should get stickers. Or jewelry. That might be the incentive needed to actually do the things I need to do.

Do you have a system to get things done around the house? Is Monday vacuum day? Does that question make you gasp because you can't believe I only assigned one day per week for vacuuming (and PS, that's because I really don't even do it that often and I need to start because I've seen some ants around and it's probably from all the crumbs)?

I'm looking forward to making a chore chart for Jack and PJ some day and being the giver, instead of the receiver, of the stickers.

Happy Birthday, Patrick!

Today is Patrick's 34th birthday.

He's feeling on top of the world.

His salt and pepper hair, which I love, sometimes makes people think he's older than I am (which I also love). He's not.

He is the most amazing husband and father, and we love him so much.

Happy birthday, my Patrick!

Frumpy by Nature?

That would be a good band name for a bunch of new mommies who played music.

I'm trying to figure out whether a new mommy has to be frumpy. Seriously. I think it just comes with the territory, and I can't figure out how it can be otherwise. It's this transition time, wardrobe-wise, so there's not a lot of impetus to spend money on new clothing. We get by on stretchy sweats, since our recently-expanded hips and loose, sagging belly haven't yet returned to normal (whatever "normal" may be). Cheap tees that can be easily replaced are essentials - after all, they get spit up on and changed sometimes several times per day. The "ladies" are bigger, so button-down shirts don't really work well and the tees have to be long, or else it's like a stretch-mark peep show on your belly. Money is tight because there's a new person in the household, so an expensive transition wardrobe is out of the question. Hence, the frump.

How can a new mommy (who isn't one of those nauseating people who goes right back to normal immediately after giving birth) avoid the frump? Am I being too hard on myself or have I been letting myself go? What are my options? I mean, obviously getting back into shape will help things, but in the meantime, do I have to go to the grocery store looking like a character from My Name is Earl?

Seriously. I want to know your thoughts. I'm getting disgusted with myself.

The mother of all posts

Lots of pictures, not a lot of talk. But just you wait until later in the week...I have a lot on my mind.

A recent photoshoot of the babe.

Come on. Can you even stand the cuteness?

A trip to Springton Manor Farm with Nana and Pop Pop

And finally, Jack asked to "hoe" PJ and didn't shy away from him as if I were asking him to hold a live grenade.

I've got all kinds of topics on my mind, so stay tuned for more posts and maybe even a poll or two. Stop the madness! I'm trying to lure some folks out of lurkdom, because unless my Mom's just trying to make me feel good by reloading the page several times per day - which is a distinct possibility - the counter on here suggests that there are more people reading than are commenting. So come on, give me your thoughts on stuff. I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know. It's called banter, people. And you can even do it anonymously!

I leave you with this thought: Thomas the Tank Engine is a prime example of utilitarian philosophy. Discuss.

Good news, bad news

The good news is, the computer is back in my possession.

The bad news is, it still isn't working.

The good news is that I know what I need to do to fix it.

The bad news is that I paid the computer guy $93 for his time...and he didn't fix it.

The good news is that the boys and I went to the beach yesterday and Jack loved it!

The bad news is that PJ didn't so much.

The good news is that it was sea turtle season and they were everywhere, laying their eggs.

The bad news is that I forgot my camera (serenity now).

The good news is that I took some pictures with my cell phone - of the boys, not the turtles.

The bad news is that I can't show them to you until the computer is fixed.

The good news is that I'm going to stop writing this list soon.

The bad news is that once I stop, I have to change a poopy diaper.

You gotta love...

...the tech guy taking three days to get back to you to start servicing your computer, then his taking two days to fix it, bringing it back to you telling you how screaming fast he got it working, booting it up at your house, and again getting the Blue Screen! (You do know the screen I'm talking about, right? The one that says your computer is getting shut down to prevent further damage. Further. Great.) He took it back again and I'm hoping I'll get it tomorrow.

...pumping four ounces of breast milk manually, getting up to answer the phone and finding that in the 30 seconds that took, your toddler went over and dumped the entire bottle onto your new sofa. Thank God for Scotchgard. I'm just bummed because PJ is such a big eater I rarely have enough leftover to pump, but he slept through the night the other night (hooray!!), and I had some extra.

...when your new baby sleeps through the night - we're talking 9 to 6 here, people - one time and then gets up three, four, and five times respectively over the following three nights. What a tease! Patrick and I are zombies today. Last night was the five times night. He must be having a growth spurt again.

And to show that I'm not being entirely sarcastic:

...a company car! Patrick's company pays for his car and his gas! It's like he gets a raise every time time the price goes up...we're up to $3.95 around here, but I know most places are over $4. The only down side is that it's a totally uncool Ford Taurus, that we've come to refer to as the Taurcedes.

...a sale at Kohl's. Is it me, or are they having a major sale there 90% of the time? Stuff is like 60-70% off right now. I just bought some cute animal-themed things to do the boys' bathroom, finally.

...a husband who has your back. Somehow, it seems like just when he's at the end of his rope, I have a second wind, and vice versa. We're a good team.

...watching golf on a Sunday afternoon. It's very relaxing, and my brain is functioning at just about the speed of golf.

...Cafepress.com. If anyone's interested in ordering some prints or notecards of the picture on the title of my blog, I'm setting up a store there with some of the photos I've taken during my travels to France, Spain, and Ireland. I'll post the link once I've got things set up.

What things do you love (or not love) right now?

Amish Lessons

I think I need to take some. Amish lessons that is. I live here in Amish country, but so far I haven't seen any advertisements for lessons. Here's what I'd like to learn:

• How do they live without a computer? Mine currently is giving me the Blue Screen of Death when I try to log on, so I'm using Patrick's at the end of the day after he's done work, and I feel like I have no idea what's going on in the world.
• How do they live without a television? What do their toddlers do while they're nursing their babies? I ask you. If they're not watching Blue's Clues, what else is there to do that isn't destructive? Crayons? Eats them. Books? Rips them. Sandbox? Eats that too. Maybe I need to teach him how to milk a cow.
• How do they make those cool quilts? Just something I've been interested in knowing how to do. I don't sew. I mean, sure I can stitch a button back on, but I have memories of using the sewing machine in Home Ec. class in junior high, and it involved something about winding a bobbin but that's all I remember. And PS, they're not using a sewing machine!
• How do they do canning, or jarring, or whatever? Seriously. I have strawberries out the wazoo and the raspberries are just starting to ripen. The fruit is taking over.

That's all for now, until I get the Blue Screen of Death fixed.

I did get a battery for my camera and a 2 gig memory card, so look out! More pictures and movies than you can shake a stick at are coming soon to a blog post near you!

Happy Father's Day!

Sorry it's taken me so long to get an update on here, but PJ is really doing so much better! Thank you for your prayers and well-wishes. I don't know if that's a testament to how well that type of burn usually heals, or how quickly babies heal in general, but I'm amazed at how fast it happened. Every day it looked better and better until today, when we just have the teeniest scab on his left cheek, barely visible in this picture.

Yes, it's the first picture in which PJ is full-on smiling! How cute is this baby? This is how he looks for most of the time that he's awake. Couldn't you just bite off those cheeks? Gosh, I love this kid!

This has just been a week from H-E-double hockey sticks for Patrick, as far as his work schedule goes. He had to go to Arkansas Monday and Tuesday. Worked late Wednesday and Thursday, then had meetings all day Friday - from early morning until 10 pm. For this reason, we're just laying low this weekend, spending some quality family time with Daddy for his special day.

My camera battery died, so I thought I'd just pull a few of the pics that have been living on my cell phone for a little while now. Here are a few of Jack on the swing at the park - a new favorite. He used to be a little scared of the swings, but has recently started to love it.

Yesterday, we visited Long's Park in Lancaster. We have never been there, but it was such a fun place! It's an enormous park with lots of picnic areas, playgrounds, and even a petting zoo. We had a blast, and Jack is just fearless when it comes to the animals. Well, except for one enormous potbellied pig who was napping and did not enjoy the group of children gathering around him in his little shelter. He was making these terrible belching sounds and then let out this terrible growl/squeal that scared the bejeezes out of all of us - kids and parents alike. So we left Mr. Pig alone. Jack's still, even just this morning, making pig sounds and then shaking his head with a scared look on his face. I have to reassure him that the pig isn't going to hurt him. Stupid pig. Anyway, here he is with the goats. He loved them.

The donkeys were so friendly, they'd come up to us to be pet. This one has a weird thing going on with his neck, but check him out - no fear.

Even this huge llama, which Jack kept calling "Mama," did not scare him. If I ask him, "Is your Mama a llama?" he says yes. Thanks, buddy.

He's talking up a storm lately, and repeats so many words. For a while now, I've been able to ask him where body parts are and have him point to them, but now he actually started pointing out our knees and saying "knee." He calls PJ "P," or "baby." He's getting so good with identifying his colors and knows how to say "blue" and "purple." He knows the letters A, B, O and M. My favorite thing he's doing right now is holding his hand out, towards things we've told him are hot (the stove, the grill, our coffee cups), and saying, very dramatically, "Hah!"

He's so in love with Dada. He missed him so much this week, but Patrick always makes it up to him by playing outside, or taking him for bike rides - his absolute favorite thing to do! He even asks to go on them by knocking on his head, like Patrick must have done with his helmet on, and saying, "Uh huh!"

Patrick is so amazing with our boys, and they are so blessed to have him as a role model of a loving, godly father and husband.

Happy Father's Day, Love!

Scabby, but not Crabby

Ok, ok - it wasn't my fault. It could have happened to anyone. I did the best I could. I'm too hard on myself. I get it...really. In my head, I get it. In my heart, it still hurts. But I'm getting over it. Seriously.

For posterity's sake, though, I took a few pictures of my scabby boy. Maybe you'll understand why I feel so bad. He's not just a little red, people. This is what he looks like today. The shiny part is an antibacterial ointment, not ooze from those blisters, but honestly, does that make it any better?

This is how he looked yesterday. Crustier, oozier, but not as red. That's because all the little teeny tiny blisters that are now red and drying up were still little clear bubbles here.

Honestly, though, even though it looks awful, he's acting like nothing is wrong which, I think, makes it easier on me. He's his usual, pleasant, smiling self. If he were crying in pain nonstop, it would be so much harder. The moral of the story here is USE SUNBLOCK! Even if your doctor says that it's not good for babies under 6 months, consider it - the good has to outweigh the bad on this one, am I right?

Moving on to some cute pictures taken the day before the "incident"... here is proof, albeit blurry proof, that kisses from Jack to PJ do occur. I just couldn't open the flash fast enough to catch this one clearly, so stand back and squint a little. You know, like you might do with an impressionist painting.

They both had on the same little Gap one-piece outfit, courtesy of Auntie Katie, and I took pictures ad nauseum. Here are some of the rest.

Jack is looking a little E.T.-ish here.

And one more kiss - not quite as cute as the first, but still...

So today, we're healing...PJ's face and my heart.

Burn victim

And The Worst Mommy of the Year award goes to..... ME!

My eight-week-old son has, not just a sunburn, but the worst sunburn I have EVER seen.

We had a yard sale yesterday and although I kept him in the shade all day long, somehow he still got burned. Heck, it wasn't even all day long, just from 7am to 10:30am. In the SHADE! Maybe it was the haze? (What exactly is indirect sunlight, anyway?) After the yard sale, he was red. That was bad enough. I realized what happened and immediately started doing cold compresses and even put him in a lukewarm bath to stop the burning.

This morning, his eyes were swollen and his face was covered in a yellow ooze that means he must have developed blisters! What have I done? I'm a wreck. He looks horrible. There are just moments when you wonder what God was thinking entrusting this tiny person to your completely irresponsible hands. Seriously, what is wrong with me?

Yet even through those swollen, crusty eyes, he's still smiling and cooing as if nothing's wrong.

I put a call in to the doctor, bawling the whole time, and she wants to see him today. I'm sure emergency Sunday visits don't come cheap, but I'm so afraid he'll get an infection.

Let's hope he isn't scarred for life. Literally.

Sunblock, people! Sunblock. Every day.

Coming clean

Ok, not to be a downer, but in reading that last post, I realize that it sort of belies the fact that while Jack may be having a rip-roarin' good time around here, I've had some rough patches lately. I forgot about the ebb and flow of emotions that comes from post baby hormone changes and sleep deprivation.

Here are a few of the struggles that come from having two babies under the age of two:

• PJ is a much more mellow baby than Jack, and he sleeps a lot better, but he's still a baby. He's up a few times at night to eat, and lately it's been more frequent as he's had a growth spurt or something. Trying to keep up with an energetic 18-month-old boy on a broken night's sleep is exhausting.
• The aforementioned growth spurt PJ is going through has him wanting to eat every hour or two some days. I thought purple nurples was just an expression - a little hyperbole or poetic license. I was wrong; they can really be purple. Yowch!
• Jack has been waking up at the crack of dawn since his window faces due east and it starts getting light at 5 a.m. I finally tacked a blanket over his window until I can order a blackout curtain, so the last two nights have been a little better. For some reason, though, his naps have been awful those days. And our afternoon schedule goes like this: PJ naps until it's time to put Jack down, then he wakes up and needs to eat, and then just as he's finishing, I hear Jack crying in the monitor. That's zero minutes of downtime for moi.
• After a month-long teaser, DISH Network took Bravo away from me and my bottom-of-the-barrel basic subscription. I was totally into Top Chef Chicago and now I won't get to see the end of it! (Sorry, I know that has nothing to do with kids, but it just bugs me.)
• Trying to get dinner ready is a joke. It's PJ's time to cry - just because - and Jack's usually upset because we've just had to come in after being outside for a while. Usually a long while. I've been trying to do casseroles that I can work on little by little throughout the day and then just put in the oven a half hour or so before we eat...and I'm running out of ideas.
• Oh, and about being outside, PJ cries when we're out too long (for him, this means more than 15 minutes), and Jack cries when we come in. We can only go out while PJ's sleeping in his swing and I keep the window open to listen for him.
• While I waited months for Jack to say "Mama," and although I love that he calls me that, I do not love that he calls me that 100 times per waking hour from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.

And here are a few of the things that instantly make up for it:

• Here's an excerpt from an email my darling husband sent to me after an especially difficult day -

Going forward I think we need to adjust our schedules so that you can have an hour of down time each day. The routine this morning worked really well so I might suggest 6:30 to 7:30 as Mommy's Power Hour. You could go for a walk, soak in the tub or just stay in bed to catch up on sleep or read. What cha think? I know this is a very hard time and I can see how much you take on each day for us. I'm feeling the strain too but the bike rides are my outlet. I would love for you to have something similar. . . and some time to do it!

Is he the most amazing man or what? I love you, Patrick!

• Jack just started kissing me, of his own volition, three days ago. It's been an especially tough few days because Patrick's been out for meetings all afternoon and evening, leaving the dinner/bath/bedtime routine to me. Somehow, just when I need it, Jack will come up to me, say "Mama," pucker up, and lean his face towards mine.

And suddenly, it's all worth it.

Hold on to your G's!

I don't know if it's the kids or the summertime that make me want to drop them all over the place. We've been having a sidewalk chalkin', sliding boardin', splish-splashin', berry pickin' good time around here!

But before we get into all that, here are a few pictures of PJ. He smiles and coos all the time, until I take out the camera - then he's fascinated by it and I can't get him to smile at all. These little half smirks will have to do. I can't believe he's almost two months old. I'm dreading his two month doctor's appointment, which is on Monday. Any mommy can tell you, this one's a doozy - lots of shots!


We're back and forth on whether PJ looks like Jack. Sometimes we see it, sometimes we don't. So to help us decide, I pulled up some pictures of Jack at this age, and...well...we're still back and forth. See for yourself.



What do you think? The first one looks just like PJ, I think. But the other two...not so much. PJ just seems squishier to me somehow, with big, edible cheeks. I love it! Plus, I think PJ is going to end up being more of a blondie. We'll see.

Every morning, Jack and I go berry pickin' in the patch that's in our yard. The people we bought the house from planted it, and while I don't think it's the most attractive part of our landscape, we decided to keep it because we get literally hundreds of berries from it in the summer! Jack says "bevy," and it makes me think of how Woody Allen might say "berry," which cracks me up.

Patrick has worked wonders on our lawn this year, taking it from patchy to lush and green. We're surrounded by Chemlawn customers, so by comparison, ours looked really bad last year. But, through lots of elbow grease, fertilizing and seeding, now we're holding our own. In the process though, I think the strawberry patch got seeded as well.

Jack calls the tallest blades of grass "trees," so I just ask him to help me pull the trees out.

Yesterday's dessert of the day was Rice Krispy treats - a fave. I justified having two by saying that they were the same genre of dessert. Besides, I cut them myself, so I might have just cut a big one into two smaller halves, and I was allowed to eat both halves. Whatever. The strawberries help with my sweet tooth throughout the day, too. I decided that fruit does NOT count in my one dessert per day rule! I may be wrong, but I think my rule is already helping my waistline. Who knew? Don't answer that.

Now, on to the splish-splashin'. Yesterday was just gorgeous - the first day warm enough to set up the frog pool. Patrick's Mom brought this little pool for Jack when she came for the christening, and if this doesn't look like hours of toddler fun, I don't know what does.

Is that not the coolest thing? Jack loved it! I can't stand how cute he looks in his little swim trunks.

That's what happenin' around here. I'll leave you with this shot of Peej lookin' cute in his sun hat. Again, he was beaming until I took out the camera. Oh well. Peace out!