Easter duds

That's what these photos are - duds.

It's okay, though, because I'm a not a perfectionist anymore.

There was some good light coming in the window one morning, so I thought I'd put the boys in their Easter outfits and try to snap some pictures. They did great getting dressed, and even started kissing and cuddling with each other before I moved them over to the opposite couch (hence the terrible backlight...but that's okay. I'm not a perfectionist anymore.)

They remind me of puppies sometimes - playing together by laying on top of each other.

Sometimes biting.

But no biting today. Just cuteness.

Love this one. PJ's face is so funny.

Everything was going just swimmingly, and I thought I'd even snap a few pictures of them individually, since PJ was turning one. I moved them over to the other couch for better light.

Now another one of them together.

But something was weird about Jack's eyes.

"Jack, what's wrong, honey? Does your tummy hurt?"

A mommy just knows when something's off, you know?

"Jack, look at Mommy." Hmmm...something's definitely not right.

And then I touched his face.

The poor kid was burning up. That quickly - over the course of about 10 minutes - the kid went from feeling fine to a fever of over 103, thus bringing our photo shoot to an abrupt halt.

You never can tell with kids.

But that's okay...

Mommy: the next generation

Come check out my new site: http://www.generationmommy.com/!

It's meant to be a more interactive blog. Less "here's what we did today" more "here's something that helped me - maybe it can help you too!"

I'd love to have other people contribute tips or pieces of advice that worked for them - from potty training to coping with loss to "love this toy!" to finding a babysitter.

We're all in this together.

Oh, and don't worry - the life and times of the T fam will still be posted here on How it is Nowadays!

You'll sleep better tonight knowing that!

The Birthday Boy

On Saturday, our little man turned one.


It feels like just yesterday we were doing gender polls and contemplating induction



And now I've had the joy of looking at this smiling face every day for a year.

Is there anything cuter than little dimpled baby arms? (Besides a baby in carpenter jeans?)

He got some amazing gifts, but the balloons took the cake.

In fact, they didn't even have to take it - he gave it to them. He wanted nothing to do with it.

So glad I made my own buttercream.

Actually, it just meant more for me, so nevermind the sarcasm there.

Our little PJ is getting so big. Just ask him - he'll tell you himself.

Confessions of...a normal mommy

I am not a fan of Oprah Winfrey. She really gets on my nerves. (And honestly, I think she likes herself enough for the both of us, so it's okay.)

However, yesterday she did a great show that talked about the other side of motherhood.

You know, the side no one tells you about. The side where even though you knew it would be about sacrifice, you didn't realize how all-consuming this was going to be. The side where a little piece of you can understand how some mommies just "snap," getting in the car and driving away and never coming back. The side where you love being a Mommy but don't love "doing" it.

Yeah - it was about that.

You know, we mommies tend to beat ourselves up on a daily - if not hourly - basis. We have visions in our heads of clean homes with gourmet meals; sparkling, well-behaved kids; and ourselves in shape, looking good and feeling fulfilled.

Prior to becoming mommies, we held down good jobs with lots of responsibilities. We were detail-oriented. We had good work ethics. We were multitaskers. We met our deadlines. We were respected by our peers.

Surely, these same skills would carry over into motherhood, right?

I realized my first week home from the hospital with Jack that this was not the case.

Actually, that's not true. What I started feeling that first week was that I was failing at motherhood. Or rather "Motherhood," as I defined it (see above - the part about the gourmet meals and feeling fulfilled).

What I had was a child who cried for what seemed like five months straight and slept no more than one hour at a time. I was lucky if I showered a few times a week. I lived in a new neighborhood with no friends, it was winter time, and there were days when I imagined that getting hit by a bus might feel better than I was feeling.

If this was motherhood, I hated it.

Two and a half years (and another child) later, I'm just now realizing that my definition of Motherhood is just not realistic. I'm realizing that I'm being crushed under the weight of my own expectations for myself.

I've been a perfectionist all my life, but I've only just understood that motherhood and perfectionism do not mix. Don't believe me? Try to plan something - anything - with children. It doesn't matter how small or large a plan it is - potty training, getting to the bank by 10 a.m., taking a walk, having a play date with a neighbor, taking a few Easter pictures - it will rain, or someone will nap longer than you thought, or give you a hard time getting dressed, or be sick, or have a poopy diaper as you're walking out the door. There are too many variables, too many things over which I have no control. I've been trying to control them, though, and driving myself and my family crazy in the process.

See, perfectionism isn't about being perfect. I knew that, but now I understand that it is about is being hypercritical and judgmental, of myself and of the people around me. It's setting myself up to fail over and over again and then wondering why I'm miserable.

So now, in front of God and everyone, I can say my name is Eileen T. and I'm a recovering perfectionist.

I'm a normal mommy, and I'm doing a pretty good job.

I feel better already.

Cookie monster

I have a confession to make.

I have a fear of rolled sugar cookies.

Or maybe it isn't a fear so much as a lack of time in which to make them, as well as a tiny bit of worry that I won't be able to make thedough the right consistency.

All I know is that I have resorted to using Pillsbury dough and rolling it out to make cookies a few times in the last year and they just don't taste natural.

I like butter. And sugar.

In fact, I think I could probably eat a shame stick. Remember that from According to Jim? Sheryl's brother Andy dipped sticks of butter in sugar and ate them like that.

Anyway, I found this recipe for the dough and I can't believe how easy it is to work with! It's my new favorite thing. Cutting them out and decorating them after the boys go to bed has become my new creative outlet.

A little lemon flavor in the icing, and I'm in my happy place. Mmmmm - sugar, butter and lemon? Does it get any better?

Sometimes, I'll just make a batch of airplanes and let Jack just sprinkle them with red sugar. But I did make a few Easter-themed cookies too.

They're not the cutest cookies on the block, but they're not too shabby for a first attempt. Figuring out the right consistency to for the icing isn't easy. The white piping needs to be firm enough to outline and the inside icing needs to be runny enough to fill...well... the inside. Say what?

But I just made another batch of dough for more practice. I think I'll make some egg-shaped cookies next. More photos to come!

All the answers

A few warm days had us out and about this week. I love it!

Tuesday we went as far as the front stoop. I guess that qualifies as "out", but maybe not "about."

(Do people still have front stoops? Ours is more like a front wannabe patio, since it seems that the people who owned the house before us did not feel like planting in the little bed beside the walkway to our front door. They laid these stones down instead, and while I dream of a day when it's bursting with blooms, I have to admit that it's kind of nice to have somewhere to sit outside, blow bubbles, and do sidewalk chalk right outside our door.)

(How's that for a parenthetical comment?)

So, back to the stoop - Jack's favorite summertime thing is spilling blowing bubbles, and I'm so thankful that this year, he can actually blow them himself. Hooray! No hyperventilation for Mommy!

I love how excited they get just because we're outside. We don't have to be doing anything special. It has me looking forward to a summer full of picnic lunches in the back yard.

I love PJ's face in this picture.

It seems I'm still not able to get both of them to look at the camera at the same time, but that's okay.

Well, until I'm trying to get pictures of them in their Easter duds it's okay. Everyone who knows me knows that that will most definitely not be okay for me. I'm already starting the deep breathing exercises.

Here's PJ trying to figure out the bubble idea. This was his first experience with them.

What do you think, Peej, are they fun?

I'll take that as a yes. And don't eat the mulch, please.

This one's classic Jack. One sock off and one sock on. He doesn't even notice it at all.

Finally, when I went back to last May's posts to get that link of them not looking at the camera together, I found this link and just about died. When I came to, I realized that this was my little guy last year - in fact, not even a whole year ago - and just look how different he looks!

Don't feel like clicking on there? That's okay - I understand. Just check out this comparison:

See? I told you. Unreal. How did that happen?

And if you do get a chance to click on it, watch the little video at the end and compare it to this one of Jack The Answer Man. He likes to answer questions, no matter how difficult. And he does a pretty darn good job at it too!

We'll often have conversations like this because I can't get enough of hearing him figure out an answer. Or of hearing him say "Dat becaw."

He likes to ask questions too. Millions of them. But not when he thinks he asking questions. When he thinks he's asking them, it usually goes like this:

Jack: Mommy, I want to ask you a question!

Me: Okay Jack, go ahead.

Jack: PJ's bottle.

Life's a bench!

That phrase, uttered from Jack's mouth, is enough to throw Patrick and I into hysterics.


You see, we got a new bench for one side of our dining room table and, well, Jack's pronunciation of it makes it sound awfully similar to another "b" word (not "beach"). Being the exemplary parents we are, Patrick and I thought it would be funny to teach him to say this little phrase. Surely he'd say it a few times and then forget all about it.

Not.


It seems that our outbursts of laughter served to firmly embed the phrase into his little head so that now he doesn't even just refer to the bench as a bench. He says things like "I want to sit here on the life's a bench and eat my lunch." Then, if we don't respond because we're smothering our laughter trying not to encourage him, he says, "You guys need to laugh now."

Note to self: Don't teach your kids things you don't want them to repeat.

Again and again.

In front of company.

Duh.

What's that, Parenting 101? We must have skipped class that day.

Anyway, speaking of beaches, benches, and, well, the other thing, I thought I'd use this time to post some of the photos from our trip to Assateague a few weeks ago. It was rainy most of the time, but on the one sunny - but freezing - day, we ventured over to the island to see if we could find some horses.

Or are they ponies? Ponies, right? Gosh, where's Pioneer Woman when you need her?

Aside from a few that were waaaay out in a field, we only saw this one up close. He was really pretty - I love paint horses...er, ponies.


PJ nodded off in the car while we were driving around, so I stayed back with him while Jack and Patrick took a walk on the beach. I love watching Patrick and the boys together. They just adore him.

It was so windy that I have no idea what they were saying, but it was so cute to watch I just couldn't stop taking pictures.

I imagine one of these might find its way into a frame on Patrick's desk for Father's Day. He's the best Daddy!

Lots more posts to come!