We had hoped that sometime in the next few weeks, we'd be bringing our baby girl home to live in our house and play with her big brothers.
We'd hoped for some pink things and baby dolls and maybe even a few frilly dresses.
After she had a hard time yesterday, the doctors decided to test Brigid for an infection and found that she was critically ill from a bacteria that she likely developed from being on the ventilator. Her blood cultures showed that she was septic - the infection had taken over her bloodstream - and her little body fought it as well as it could. The doctors, recognizing the severity of the situation, called Patrick and me and told us to come to the hospital right away. She was having such a hard time, but we got to be with her and kiss her and sing to her. The bacteria was vicious and fast-moving, and it only took about 12 hours from the time she started acting lethargic until her body could fight no longer. At about 11:30 last night, Brigid went to be with Jesus.
We thought our homecoming would be a wonderful ending to a long and difficult road, but it would just have been continuing the race that is life on this earth for our girl. Instead, she's already won the race and received the prize. Brigid's homecoming was the final homecoming - the one where she gets to live in the mansions and walk on streets of gold and worship at the throne of God and see him face to face.
We are so honored to have been your parents, sweet baby Brigid. I'd been under the impression that I was holding your hand to help you through this difficult time, but now I realize that you were actually helping me by holding mine. Thank you so much. You are the strongest person I know, and I can't wait to spend eternity with you and Fiona.
7 comments:
This gave me goosebumps. I am so happy that you can see it this way, and share your story to others. It has really changed my perspective on things. I think Brigid and Fiona were here to teach us all something. That life is indeed precious, that you never know when it will be your last, but even more...that our life is truly with our Lord God. And that this is just a stepping stone until we get to go to our real home, heaven.
I remember a pastor at my Grandmother's funeral saying to us, don't cry, be happy. Be happy for her, that she is home with God. The best place there is. If we believe in God, and the Bible, then we know...that its a place with no pain, no sorrow, and no tears. Its..heaven!
Eileen, you have unshakeable faith. What a wonderful testimony and encouragement you are and have been to me. I will continue to pray for His peace to you and your family.
God could not have given Fiona and Brigid to more deserving parents.
i am in awe of God in you. this is truly one of the most beautiful things i've ever read.
Your post is beautiful. Heartbreaking and beautiful. You are so strong- I see where Brigid found her strength. I was told your story by someone who knew that I am also the mother of a 28 weeker. I am so sorry you didn't get the homecoming you expected for Fiona or Brigid. I've been crying off and on all day, thinking about you and your family. Brigid and Fiona remind me to make the most of every second with Charlotte, my preemie.
You amaze me, and Brigid amazes me- thank you for sharing your journey, and now please know that we are sharing your pain and hoping to carry some of that burden by praying for your family.
I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that you find peace in God's care.
I am moved, saddened and happy all at the same after reading this. You are an inspiration with your unflappable trust in in God and His plan. Regardless of what you have written here I know that right now is the most difficult time of your life. I am deeply sorry for the loss that you and the family are dealing with. I love and I always will.
Eileen...
I only took care of Brigid one time, but in that time, I became very fond of you and her. I am so sorry for your loss and moved by how this journey has obviously strengthened you. It is amazing how in the darkest of times you are able to be an inspiration. I will always remember Brigid and your story.
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