WARNING: Even though that's an optimistic title, this post is going to be a bit of a downer.
I'll just cut to the chase. We lost our baby last night. Or I guess I should say I lost our baby last night. If we're not pregnant, then we can't miscarry, right? Though this is one burden I'd be glad to share, and Patrick's doing an amazing job helping me to shoulder it.
I was going to post this weekend about the fact that I'd been having a little cramping and maybe ask for some extra prayers...but the weekend got away from me.
I won't go into all the gory details, but suffice it to say, I was only 9 weeks pregnant and it could have been much worse! I was afraid about how painful a miscarriage was going to be, but I either have a really high pain tolerance, or mine wasn't particularly bad, for which I'm so grateful.
I'm also grateful for the fact that I already have two sweet little babies to cuddle and kiss. This would have been so much more difficult if it were my first.
I'm thankful for lots of family and friends who have offered their support, including my Mom, who's been here helping me with the kids since Monday.
I'm thankful for the most amazing, compassionate, understanding, encouraging and supportive husband in the world who just reminded me that he has an infinite supply of hugs and kisses to help me get through this.
And I'm thankful that I have one sweet little baby in heaven who will be waiting for me when I get there. There's something reassuring about that.
It's surprising how much we bond with our babies when we're pregnant, isn't it? Even though she wasn't moving around in there yet, I still thought of her all day, every day. I already loved her.
It is so hard to understand God's purpose for things like this - what could possibly be the point of creating this tiny life, only to take it away before anyone got to appreciate it? But that's the thing, I guess. It makes us appreciate life so much more. And God is good, even when it hurts.
I love you, sweet little baby! I can't wait to meet you some day! - Your Mommy
4 comments:
Eileen and PT....MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU. Eileen you don't know me, but I worked with Patrick and have nothing but great memories. He always spoke about you and the babys. I am sorry to hear the news. Martin Leonard (Crump Insurance Services)
I am so sorry for your loss....you dont know me but I read your post on ivillage and my heart broke for you....I went thru a miscarriage in Oct at 11 weeks.....It is never easy but I am glad that you seem to have such a great support system around you!! Sending a big hug your way!!
It is comforting to know that you're not alone. And that others have found some purpose (God's hand) in such sadness. (I've seen it with other friends who've had losses.) You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Eileen, I'm so sorry. I was SO hoping for a different outcome for you all. I went through a miscarriage before Laney - right at the 3 month mark. It was devastating. If you need to talk, I'm here.
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