An idea for a nature documentary...

Nature plays a cruel, cruel trick on a pregnant woman in her third trimester. It's at this time that the baby in her belly is gaining weight at the fastest rate, and carrying all that weight around in the front results in her tending to lean back a bit to counter-balance. Her graceful stride is replaced by an awkward, inefficient waddle. Her hips, legs, feet, and lower back really feel the brunt of this extra weight and balancing maneuver. If she has a toddler to chase around throughout the day, by the time she gets that child to bed, the word "exhausted" is the understatement of her lifetime. She can't wait to crawl into bed, put up her throbbing feet, and rest.

And there's the rub, for there is no place less relaxing at this point in her pregnancy.

Rest eludes her as she struggles to find a comfortable position, tossing and turning amidst a sea of strategically-placed pillows. Her hips ache if she lies on her side - relaxin hormone has caused the pelvic bone to stretch and ache. She is forbidden to lie on her back lest she compress an artery that would cut off blood flow to her developing baby, and her stomach is simply not an option at this point. As such, she is forced to lie propped up, practically sitting up in her bed. A perpetual case of shank-neck is guaranteed as her head flops from one side to the other. She wakes to use the bathroom, and to reposition herself or her pillows several times each night. Getting in and out of bed each time is an ordeal, and if she wakes up anytime after 4 am, she may opt to stay awake rather than fight the losing battle for another hour or two of fitful sleep.

It is after a few weeks of this that she begins to hope that her baby comes before its due date. Once she sees that little face, all the pain will be worth it. Until then, though (and actually for the next several months afterwards) she will dread the night.

Think I can sell it to the Discovery Channel?